My New Year’s goal is to become unoffendable. I’ve been working on it for about two years now and though I’m not there yet, I can tell I’m at least getting better. We live in a culture that prides itself on being opinionated and loves being offended. It’s like a favorite past time for Americans to post strong beliefs and become highly indignant if people disagree. There is absolutely no freedom for the soul in that. If someone can push your buttons simply by disagreeing with you, then they have a lot of power over your emotions. They have a lot of power on whether or not you are angry or have peace. Jesus has been helping me become less offendable by showing me some areas where I’ve had judgements against groups of people and helping me to let those judgements go.

Sometimes we have judgements against groups of people and we don’t even know it. Several months ago, I found that was the case with me. One of my favorite pastors said something online and I felt myself get a bit defensive. It was a quick feeling of defensiveness and then it was gone. It would have been easy to ignore but I could tell the Lord wanted to talk about the reaction I just had. Emotional reactions are excellent indicators of hidden issues in our hearts. I assured him that I was absolutely sure I had no judgements against that particular group and he assured me I did. So I took time to look deeper. It turns out, I felt that group of people wouldn’t like me. So I said, “Ok but God, I feel like they would write me off without knowing me. I guess I am defensive but it’s because of the anger I feel is in their hearts.” His reaction came from a much wiser and higher, more eternal perspective. He said, “So? Who cares if they wouldn’t like you. Who cares if they do have judgements against you? If you truly want to be dead to self and alive in Me, then people disliking you should not be a factor.” Then I thought about how Jesus came to a world to bring healing. I thought about how the same group of people who wanted to make him king were shouting for his blood days later. I thought about how as they spit on him, lied about him, whipped him and called for his execution, his response was, “Father, forgive them. They don’t know what they are doing.” How do you get to a place where people are lying about you and trying to kill you, but you can see them through the eyes of love?! Wow, I have a long way to go. But also, how much freedom would that be?? Wouldn’t it be amazing to be so full of love that even hateful people had absolutely no power over your emotions? What if they could just rage away but there were just no buttons in you that the enemy could push? The enemy wants us to have all kinds of buttons. Subjects that bring up offense, defensiveness, hurt, insecurity, fear, are all areas where he has control instead of us. Let’s get rid of those! When we feel them come up, let’s ask the Lord, why is there a button there? And let’s work with him to get rid of it.

The Lord said something to me that helped me tremendously. It was this,

Gayle, if you choose to hold onto judgements against them, that is a whole group of people that I can’t use you to love.

I truly want to please God so when he gave me that perspective, it humbled me immediately. I don’t care if it’s republicans, democrats, different races, different genders, cultures, beliefs, lifestyles, generations, whatever it is, if we’re so much in disagreement that we can’t love them, then we don’t have the perspective that Jesus has.

God knows the hidden areas of us and he can bring them to the light to set us free. Judgements can be sneaky. After God started helping me to dig out judgements, I didn’t even realize that revelation made me incredibly intolerant of easily offended people! Ha, the irony. So I have to guard against that judgement, or I’d be annoyed every day and that’s just too much emotional energy. Well, I’m a work in progress. Even if I take steps backwards, I’ll aways work on moving forward. And even though the progress seems slow, I can feel the differences as I spend time connecting with the heart of the Father.

Like I said in the beginning, I’m not where I want to be yet. I can get indignant and self-righteous with all the rest of them when I lose my focus. But I’m getting better. I’m choosing love more often and more easily. Things that would have made me livid two years ago now slide off of me and have no effect on my emotions. It seems daunting in a time where anger and being right seems the sole objective. But I can change me. You can change you. We can change us. We can decide to choose kindness. We can decide to see people with compassion. We can decide not to get caught up in being right in situations where love is more important. I’m never saying don’t stand for what you believe in. But I am saying we should always do it in love, or we’ve lost our compass. And it’s love that sets us free. It’s so much more freeing to be filled with love than anger, judgement, indignation and offense. Love allows our hearts to be at rest. And it’s the things we do in love that make true and lasting changes in people’s hearts.

A Part of Renewing Your Mind:

• Ask God to reveal to you what judgments you may have against a person or group.
• Be intentional about choosing to love them even if they don’t love you. Ask God to help you choose love and see people through his eyes.
• If a thought comes to you that does not agree with the love of Christ, say I don’t agree with that. God loves this person and wants them to know him and walk in freedom.