God wants to be invited into the big and little details of our lives. Huge decisions don’t have to be hard with him on our side. When thinking about last month’s post, I felt this would be a natural continuation. All that waiting I felt I was doing when it came to finding my husband paid off. This is the simple story of how I met my husband and how God was faithful to nudge me in the right direction.

I was working in a remote mountain town at a rustic resort for hunters and fishermen. It was a seasonal job and summer was winding down and staff, dwindling. I had been cleaning cabins and working in the gift shop but with staff being so low, I was finally asked to work in their log cafe (I was not their first choice for serving, and rightly so. It’s never been my long suit). About a year ago, I had finally given into God’s hard request of “Stop dating.” I had healed from many hurts, was learning wisdom and was finally enjoying being single instead of looking for the next guy to give me affirmation. I had just recently graduated from Bible college (often jokingly called “Bridal college”) and had managed to make it through without finding a husband, so this remote hodgepodge of cabins and a trading post was the last place I expected to meet him.

The Nugget Cafe was the nearest place to eat in about a 40-mile radius but being the end of the season, the mornings were relatively slow. One of my dearest friends (with a little persuasion on my part) was working at the camp too for a summer mountain adventure. It had been a paragon of a summer. Full of hiking, biking, four wheeling, whitewater rafting and the occasional venture “to town”. We had nowhere to spend our money and board was free, so she and I decided on a California adventure in the fall. I didn’t know what my plans were after the fall, but I was relishing each moment.

That morning the cafe was completely empty. We chatted aimlessly and recleaned counters while waiting for a first table. I had fallen into some daydream or other when I was awakened by my friend’s urgent whisper. “Don’t look now, but there is a fine Christian man over there reading his Bible!” I looked up. There was indeed! Very fine. It was her table and she had just brought him coffee. I automatically started walking towards him. “Hey! That’s my table!” she protested. I was genuinely not interested in talking to him for any other reason than he had his Bible out. If he had been an old man or young woman, that still would have caught my attention. So, the thought that crossed my mind to her reaction was so surprising and out of the blue, it made me stop for a moment. I had the clear and distinct thought; you are not going to stop me from meeting my husband. That little thought was planted by the one who dwells inside of me who knows all. But in the moment, I rejected it completely. No! I’m finally happy being single!

What came out of my mouth when I reached his table surprised the both of us. “Do you love God, or are you just reading that?” My first words to that man, blunt and to the point. The answer to that question was the first thing I wanted to know anyway. Little did I know how much he disfavored small talk, so it suited him just fine. “I love God.” He replied simply. From there, the conversation flowed. He was visiting from Texas for a short trip with his pastor and a friend (though he had decided not to join them that morning in their adventure in favor of some quiet time and coffee). Later I found out when he told them he had met me, one of them teased, “Ty just met his wife!”

We ended up exchanging emails and casually keeping in touch through the fall as friends. Later, when Ty was wondering where he would find the woman to spend his life with, I immediately came to mind. Not being someone to waste time, he became very intentional after that and let me know he wanted to pursue a relationship. My first reaction was fear and confusion. I no longer wanted to date just to date so my yes would mean a lot. He wasn’t anything like my past boyfriends. Not artsy, poetic or “sensitive”. I didn’t immediately connect with him on the levels I was used to connecting on. My mom was extremely helpful in saying simply, “You don’t always have to date yourself, Gayle.” Huh, I’d never thought of that (thanks mom). I gave him a tentative yes thinking at least he lived in a different state so we could take it super slow. I didn’t know then how purposefully this man moves when he has decided on something and by the next week he surprised me after work by my car with a rose, and more importantly a brownie, and told me he had moved to Colorado.

Now I’ve heard and read about Christian dating experiences that urge you to listen to God when it comes to dating and then they proceed to tell you their perfect testimony of meeting their perfect person and their blissful experience. I tend to think a majority may be editing their testimony. The Bible has the good, bad and the ugly in it because that’s the human experience. Ty and I grew, laughed and loved but we also knew how to “be drama”. I once threw an entire Italian cream cake at him which I had made for his birthday (which I regretted merely because it was delicious). The most important part I played was being intentional to ask God if I should continue in the relationship. The idea of forever puts a lot of pressure on a relationship and I was ready for forever. I had a lot of fears, questions and outside advice coming at me. I needed to get alone, get quiet, and turn my focus to the Father until I could hear him. I went with a willingness to hear and obey yes or no. There in my heart, I heard, “Yes. Move forward without fear.”

I can’t imagine trying to do life without God. He never leaves and he loves me so completely. When he says move forward without fear I can relax, breathe, and enjoy. Life doesn’t have to be a guessing game when you have the one who knows all things living on the inside of you. But he can only lead the areas of our lives where he is invited. I’ve learned through the years when he says no to something I want, it’s always to protect, promote or free me. Trust him, daughter of the king. Trust if he says no, it’s for your good. Trust if he says yes, to move forward without fear but in sync with him. Trust that the best version of yourself and your life comes from time with the Father.