I used to be uncomfortable with it. The verse that says, “If you love me, keep my commandments.” I’m not sure what connotation my personal filter was giving that verse, but to me, it had a negative spin. Perhaps I saw behind the verse manipulation: “IF you ACTUALLY love me, you’ll prove it by obeying me”. Perhaps I felt condemnation behind the verse “You’re not enough, since you don’t perfectly obey me, you clearly do not love me.” I never stopped to analyze why the verse made me uncomfortable. The feeling was just in the background as I skimmed past to read further. But (as often happens) as I’ve grown closer to the heart of God, my understanding has “opened” and the true heart of the verse has become clear. That verse has a completely different connotation to me now and I can’t believe I ever saw it any other way.

The word of God is the standard of truth that guides us. The Holy Spirit (the gift of God inside of us) helps us to see the heart behind God’s word. We need both to walk in grace and truth. There are times when I question things I don’t understand, but at my core, I’ve come to trust God’s heart as good and compassionate. When he asks me to do something, it is always for my good or for the good of others. He is always leading his people into higher levels of freedom at the pace that is best for them. Whenever he sets boundaries, through his word, or given to us through our quiet time with him, it is for the purpose of protection, freedom, and growth. Even if we don’t understand or like the boundaries at the time, he is always guiding us to higher levels of freedom. This has been proven to me time and time again as I’ve grown in my capacity to walk in obedience in different areas. I’ve come to trust that he is never holding out on me or not wanting me to enjoy something. He is not a control-freak-micro manager. Like a loving father who wants the best for his kid, he simply knows what is best and wants to see me thrive. As I’ve come to truly know this on a deep level, the verse “If you love me, keep my commandments” no longer holds the voice of a controlling God but has the connotation of a loving parent who has a deep concern for my well-being. Also, the word love in the Bible is not an idle word and is often attached to action. Jesus’ love for humanity led to acts of compassion that required him to die to selfishness on a daily basis with the culmination of giving his own life in our stead. So if we do truly love him, there will be action behind that love, not just words.

Knowing the heart of the Father the way I do “If you love me, obey my commandments” says to me: If you love me, show me with your actions by following out the instructions I give for your own well-being and the well-being of others. Allow me to truly be your God by giving me the pleasure of setting you free and seeing you thrive.

Wow. That’s beautiful.

This understanding lends clarity to other verses. In Matthew 23 Jesus speaks of his heart of longing to gather a rebellious Israel under his wings like a hen gathers her chicks. He longed to keep them safe but they were not willing to submit to his ways and often met many challenges because of it. In Matthew 7 Jesus compares those who hear and obey him as wise people who build a strong foundation for their home. When the storms of life come to beat against the home, it stands because it is founded on the rock. But those who hear and do not obey him are compared to foolish people who build their home on sand. When the storms of life come, the home is destroyed because of the lack of foundation. Proverbs constantly talks about how wisdom calls out in the streets and those who hear and obey are safe and prosper. God’s commandments are boundaries woven with wisdom to keep us safe.

If you look at the surrounding verses to John 14:15 (the obey-my-commands verse), they focus on personal relationship with God. Verse 12 talks about asking and receiving. Verse 16 onward talks about sending us the Spirit of truth by which we may truly know (with intimate and growing understanding) God and he will never leave us orphans. The chapter goes on to say we are in him and he will lead/teach us all things and though the world does not know him, we do. Even the following chapter talks about the importance of abiding in him as a branch abides in a vine. God does not want obedience out of a cold, sterile determination to try and follow his word through frustrated behavior modification. He wants obedience to be the fruit of our love for him (remember? He said, “if you love me…”). The desire and the power for true lasting change, comes out of relationship with God step by step. The very first step is learning to believe and accept God’s love for you. 1 John 4:19 says that we love him, because he first loved us. Why in the world would you obey him unless you first truly believed he loves you and wants the best for you? If obedience is not coming from a place of confident rest in his love, then it’s coming from a place of fear or obligation and neither of those produce good or lasting fruit and often lead to frustration. If you don’t truly believe God loves you, don’t worry. I didn’t used to either. As we renew our minds to God’s truth, he changes our hearts. Time and intentionality work miracles. As we partner with the Father and focus on the right things, we begin to believe things we never imagined we could, and doubt becomes replaced with radiant assurance.

Once we truly believe God loves us and wants the best for us, we begin to fall in love back. It’s stunning when you truly come into the knowledge that the creator of the universe sees you, knows you, and delights in you. It makes you want to love him back. OK, Jesus, if you say “if you love me, obey my commandments”, then that’s what I want to do! That is when Jesus moves from being your savior, to truly being your Lord. There is a distinct difference between the two. When you make Jesus your savior, you’re accepting his sacrifice for your sins in your stead. Praise God your eternity is sealed and no one can pluck you from his hand (not even you). As you grow and learn to make him your Lord, you’re saying whatever emotions, desires, opinions and inclinations I have that do not agree with you, help me to give them up and submit to your ways which are higher. Help me to grow so close to you that my life and thoughts begin to agree with you more and more. Making Jesus Lord and walking in obedience through relationship with his word and with him shows a higher level of maturity. It doesn’t make God love you more, but it certainly shows him he can trust you with the next level of what he has for you. It also blesses you because walking in the flesh leads to being a slave to sin. We get to choose who our master is. As Paul says, we can be a slave to sin, or a slave to righteousness. Only one of those masters truly sets you free, baby! The devil wants you to believe that doing whatever you want, whenever you want to is freedom but the way of sin leads to death (anxiety, depression, self-loathing, relational problems, the list goes on). Submitting to righteousness leads to life (peace, joy, contentment, wholeness, etc.) The colossal lie is if you truly submit to God and make him Lord, you’ll miss out. In reality, God wants to set you free from the bondage sin leads to. He wants you to feel what it’s like to have true joy, peace and freedom. At some point, every Christian needs to choose, is Jesus truly my Lord, or is obedience to him just optional? Do I just obey when I feel like it, or do I push past my feelings because I truly love him and it’s not just lip service? Is there something he is asking you to do that you don’t want to do? Maybe he is asking you to stop being sexually active, forgive someone, start a certain diet, be truthful, stop watching certain shows, cut off a specific relationship…whatever he is asking you to give up or change is for the purpose of your protection, freedom and growth. He loves you fiercely, daughter of God. Allow him the pleasure of seeing you thrive.

A Part of Renewing Your Mind:

Focus on his love for you. Google and copy scriptures that speak to you about his love and read them every day. Learn to recognize condemning thoughts from the enemy and replace them with truth.

As you grow in the knowledge of his love for you, you’ll fall in love with him in return.

Allow that love for him to lead you to the decision to make him your Lord. Renew your mind by learning to align your thoughts with his. Determine to know his will and submit your thoughts, desires, and actions to align with his. Make a decision not to let your emotions be your God.